Dragon Boating Plea for Sponsorship | September 8, 2010

I was thinking earlier that I really shouldn’t dragon boat next year. Not because it’s hard and I’m terrible at it (see my Paddles of Pain blog for details), or that I slide around the boat like I’m covered in Vaseline and I feel like I’m in a slapstick comedy film, but because it’s expensive. I figure I could use that money for something else more important, like a haircut, or trainers without holes in, or a sledge made by Porsche (they exist) or a cat bed shaped like a tank (they’re real n’all).

Sexy sunny Wellington invites you to give, give, give!

But then it occurred to me that perhaps our team could get sponsored! Actually, we were sponsored last year but it was a strange arrangement – the pub bought us crappy vests with their name on, which we wore on race day, and we went to their pub after practice each week and bought beer and chips from them. So, you see, any sponsor would be an improvement over that kind of mafia style protection racket deal.

So, after having some wild and crazy success with Twitter appeals this week I figure I should push my luck and ask IS THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO WANTS TO SPONSOR OUR DRAGON BOAT TEAM?! I’ll tell you now, it’s not cheap, it costs several thousand dollars to put a boat in the water and make people suffer. However, I am quite confident that we, as a team, would be more than willing to prostitute ourselves week-in, week-out, during the grueling training, all in the name of giving our sponsor maximum exposure.

Here’s a list of the things you could get for your money:

  • A tax break, possibly, worth looking into, that’s for sure.
  • Your name on our vests! Who wouldn’t want that kind of exposure from a mid-ranking boat in Wellington’s Dragon Boat Festival.
  • We have a Facebook page, it would surely convert to epic hits for you, whoever you are that sponsors us.
  • Leading on from that we get drunk, which means we look stupid, which is always good for generating traffic, and sometimes lying in it.
  • At least one of us might even get drunk enough to let you tattoo them, possibly on the arse.

Robin - Worth the money all by himself...

  • I will write blog about what it feels like to be in a wealthy go-getting team, rather than a poor go-getting team, like I did this year.
    If you bought us cameras then we could YouTube it all, it would be a major hit like Deadliest Catch, perhaps. You might have to buy Wellington port authority a pet Kraken to make it that exciting, and I suspect that could only happen if you had enough money to cast us all in Pirates of the Caribbean. Which would be awesome, but don’t count yourself out of the running to be our sponsor just because your pockets aren’t quite that deep. If your pockets are that deep then can we have an outboard motor too?

So, yeah, in conclusion, we’re a good deal, sponsor us please!


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