Mooching around outside my house recently I encountered a female blackbird without any tail feathers. It looked like a weird experimental plane, one of the ones that doesn’t really look as cool as an aircraft should.
This bird was curiously sedate, and certainly showed no signs of flying away, could it fly away? The cat rounded the corner and got all excited by the sight of the bird, although I wasn’t too worried because she’s only got one canine tooth left and all her claws are blunted from trimming. The bird wasn’t much phased either (did it know about the cat’s disarmament?) although it took the stupid precaution of running under the planter, which stands plenty high enough for a cat to follow.
To prevent the cat gumming the bird to death I picked her up and went and got the better half, so I could at least spread the blame of any decisions I made. Luckily, my lady had already encountered such a thing and chased the bird to the end of the deck, where it hopped through the trellis and glided off into a tree. It seems that the lack of tail feathers wasn’t much of a problem and once out of sight it was clearly no longer my problem.
Later, while consulting Google, I found out that this blackbird was fresh out of the nest, and somewhere close by it’s parents will have been sat in a tree, laughing at it.
I’m glad I wasn’t born a blackbird.